


In My Life I Loved You More

by Narryornarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: It has OT4, Mention of Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narryornarry/pseuds/Narryornarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Harry doesn't realize how much he's missed Liam, until he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Life I Loved You More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [speakingwosound (sev313)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sev313/gifts).



> First off... I would like to apolgize for the lateness. There's really no excuse for why this is 2 weeks late, but unfortunately the Zayn thing that happened really took a turn on my mood to write. I would've had this turned in earlier but I spent these two weeks trying to figure out how to end it and how to write one particular part in this fic. I almost started over a couple of times too, cause I was worried it wasn't good enough.

It's been four years since One Direction's breakup. 

Louis started a successful label, 78 Productions Limited, it grew in size over the years, and people say Louis might one day be the next Simom Cowell. Niall became a radio host, along side his friend Eoghan. He loved the radio, and always made sure to throw in a tune by the band that was once the most important thing to him, One Direction. Liam went on to producing for major artists, until he realized his relationship with Sophia was going downhill, making him put his career to a stop to try to fix things. They ended up breaking up, leaving Liam single and without a job. Harry took a year break and traveled the world, going to places they never had the chance to see while on tour. He then released his own album,went on a tour and was about to embark on his second tour, a world tour, for his second album he released a couple months back. Harry was tired though, extremely tired. The promo was brutal for both albums, all eyes were on him, waiting for him to be less than perfect. He also would get lonely during his first tour, which made him really homesick, but not for home home, for the home he had while in One Direction. He missed the boys, he would never admit it, but he missed them. He was exhausted too, and the worst part is he didn't think anybody noticed. He always saw fans say how much happier he looked now that he isn't in the band, but little did they know it was the exact opposite. It was a crazy three years for him. Both of his albums went to number one, his first album won a grammy and he was about to go on a world tour, but he was unhappy. 

After four years of barely seeing one another, and trying hard to keep in touch, they all finally met again, at a congratulation party for Niall, who was recently offered his own radio show. 

"Harry!" a familiar voice called out to him. 

Harry turned around and was greeted with a big hug from Niall. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around his Irish friend, hugging him back tightly. He hadn't seen Niall in a while, and seeing him again brought back a flood of memories from years ago. Memories of late nights on the tour bus and backstage shenanigans, ones that Harry held dear to him now that they're gone. The ones that made Harry feel a sense of belonging, knowing that four other boys knew exactly what he went through. 

"I missed you." Niall said, letting go and facing Harry. 

"I missed you too." Harry smiled back. He looked at Niall, who looked almost the same as he did the last time Harry saw him. His hair shorter though, and he had a tattoo. Harry remembered Niall telling him about his first tattoo. It was the lyrics, "if you ever feel alone...." From one of their songs. He remembered Niall told them over text, the night he got it, that the tattoo was for them, just like the song was. Niall knew he always had a home with the boys, even when the only thing they had in common were the stars in the sky. 

“So glad you could make it!” Niall said. 

“Wouldn't miss it for the world. I can't believe our little Niall is growing up.” Harry smiled, ruffling Niall’s hair a little. 

“And I wouldn't want you to miss it for the world.” Niall said back to him. 

“Well you're just lucky I'm on break from tour.” Harry chuckled. 

“Oh yeah, how's everything going?" Niall asked. 

Harry thought about what to say for a minute. He hadn't told any of the boys about how he was feeling. He didn't want them to worry. 

"Great." Harry nodded. He hoped Niall wouldn't see right through him. 

"That's awesome, would love to have you over on my show sometime!" Niall offered. 

"Yeah, I'll definitely make time for that." Harry smiled at him. 

Niall opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by his name being called. Both boys turned their heads, it was Niall's agent who was motioning to Niall to come over to her. 

Niall sighed and looked over at Harry. 

"I think the BBC radio manager is here, I have to say hi." Niall told him. 

"We'll catch up later, don't worry about it." Harry nodded at him. 

Niall nodded back and smiled, leaving Harry to stand all alone again. 

"Harold!" he heard from a distance. 

He turned around, smiling when he saw who was calling him. It was Louis.

Last time he saw Louis was at an award show a couple months back. They talked for a few minutes, until Harry was pulled away to do interviews. 

"There's my Grammy award winning lad." Louis said, walking over to Harry and pulling him into a hug. 

Harry chuckled. Knowing that Louis was proud of him was a great feeling. Actually, knowing Louis even cared about him was a great feeling. He and Louis had a rocky friendship during their time in the band. There were times when Harry thought Louis hated him, and vise versa. He really cared for Louis though, and when Zayn left the band, they began to grow stronger as friends, just like they were on the X-Factor. 

"How've you been?" Harry asked. 

"I've been great, it's been busy though. What about you?" Louis asked.

"I've.. I've been alright." Harry replied, nodding at him. 

"You sure?" Louis asked, his eyebrows furrowing. 

Harry nodded, knowing Louis could see right through him. Louis could see right through everybody. 

"Harold?" Louis said, staring at Harry blankly. If Louis thought something was remotely wrong, he would never let you live it down. 

"I'm fine, Lou. I've just been really busy." Harry nodded. 

"Well if you're sure, I'm going to go say hi to Niall. Do you know where he is?" Louis asked. 

"Should be here somewhere." Harry shrugged. 

Louis ruffled Harry's hair and walked away. 

Harry watched as Louis went to find Niall, sighing in relief that Louis didn't ask anymore questions. He saw Louis bump into somebody, playfully hitting them on the shoulder, before walking away. That person was Liam. Harry hadn't seen Liam in a long while, but surprisingly he still looked the same as he did before. 

"Liam!" Harry called out. 

Liam turned around and gave him a warm smile, before walking over to Harry. His smile gave Harry a warm feeling in his stomach, a feeling he just shrugged off. 

"Harry!" Liam exclaimed, opening his arms wide and pulling Harry in for a hug. 

Liam's hugs were always soft and warm, and Harry had always felt protected in Liam's arms. He was a soft teddy bear, and Harry never wanted to let go. At least not this time around. Liam's strong arms wrapped around Harry, pulling him in tightly, gave Harry that same funny feeling in his stomach, almost a tingling sensation. He ignored it again though, thinking it was just from not having a hug this comforting in a while. 

"I missed you." Liam said, finally letting go of him. 

"I missed you too." Harry responded, smiling at him. 

"How is everything?" Liam asked, putting his arm over Harry's shoulder. 

"Fine.." Harry said, sighing with annoyance. He always answered to fine. He was always just fine. He was sick of it though. He was sick of being just fine. 

"You sure about that?" Liam asked. He could see right through him. 

"Liam.." Harry moaned. 

"What?" Liam asked, narrowing his eyebrows. 

"I'm not fine!" Harry confessed, whispering so nobody else would hear. 

"Harry.. What's wrong?" Liam asked, looking concerned.

"See this is why I don't tell anybody anything, I don't want to talk about it." Harry said, while he attempted to get out of Liam's grip and walk off 

"Oh no you don't." Liam said, grabbing Harry by his arm and pulling him in again. 

"Liam please. This day is about Niall, not me." Harry told him. 

Liam sighed, knowing Harry was right. 

"We'll talk about this later then, for now let's go catch up with the other lads." Liam told him, pointing to the direction Niall and Louis were at.

Harry sighed and followed Liam. He didn't want to bore anybody about his problems, after all going solo was his decision. He shouldn't be complaining about something that was his choice. Liam didn't care though, he never did. Harry liked that about Liam, he was always there to listen no matter how dumb the problem was. He probably missed Liam the most out of all the boys. He didn't know why though. He was close to all the boys, but often every time he'd catch up with Liam, usually over the phone whenever they could get time in, he felt a little bit more happier then usual afterwards. Liam was always good at making others feel better. He had a gentle touch that Harry could never replace. Nobody could ever replace Liam. Ever. Harry longed for the time when he could talk to Liam every day. When he could see Liam every day. 

"Lads!" Liam yelled out when they found Louis and Niall. 

"Liam, Harry glad you could join us. Look at us, the four lads back together again!" Louis said in his funny voice, the one he always used to do years before. 

"It's sure been a long time coming, Tommo. I'm glad you boys could be here." Niall said, smiling at all of them. 

"We wouldn't miss this, Niall, we're proud of you." Harry said, smiling at him. 

"Hey you said you'd try to invite Zayn, how'd that turn out?" Liam asked. 

Niall's smile quickly turned into a frown, making Liam regret ever asking. 

"He.. He never got back me." Niall shrugged. 

"I'm sure he'll show up." Liam said reassuringly.

"He was never good at showing up for things now was he?" Louis said, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Yeah, Niall eventually had to be the mysterious one." Harry joked, making the four of them burst into laughter. 

Louis went over to an ice box near them and got out four beers for each of them. 

"I have a toast." He said, passing a beer to each boy. 

"You do them the best Lou." Liam said, opening his beer. 

"Here's to Niall. Our boy that's finally growing up. He's going places some day, and that place is in one direction.. pun completely intended for laughing purposes... And that direction is up." Louis started to say. 

"And here's to us." Niall interrupted.

"Us?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah, we're all going places." Niall said, raising his glass. 

"Here's to us then." Louis screamed. 

"To us." the other boys repeated, raising their glass just like Louis. 

 

*******  
After the party, Liam dragged Harry to his place just outside of London. Harry tried to refuse, but nobody could say no to Liam. Nobody. It would also only be fair, considering he also made plans to hang out with both Louis and Niall in the next week while he was still in town. 

Liam's house was just like Harry remembered, only it felt emptier. They sat on the couch, talking for what seemed like an eternity.

"So how's Sophia?" Harry asked, trying to avoid the subject of him. 

"Oh... Um.. We kinda broke up.. A couple weeks ago.." Liam said, frowning. 

Harry's face went into shock. Liam and Sophia have been together a long time, he thought they'd get married before any of them would. 

"Oh my god Liam, I'm so sorry." Harry said, wrapping his arm around Liam and pulling him in for a side hug.

"It was partially my fault.. I...it just wasn't working out." Liam told him. 

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Harry asked. 

"I haven't really told anybody. I don't want them to worry. It's only been two weeks anyways." Liam said. 

"Liam you can't bottle things in, you'll explode." Harry told him. 

"Speak for yourself, Styles." Liam chuckled. 

He was right. Harry knew he had to tell somebody his problem, or he would explode. 

Harry sighed before speaking. 

"I'm just... I... I'm lonely." he confessed. 

Liam looked at Harry, surprised at what he just heard. 

"Lonely?" Liam asked. 

"Yeah.. Without you guys actually. It's tiring, it's a lot of work, and it's lonely. Sometimes for fun I imagine you guys there with me. It's not the same though... I miss you guys.. More then I thought I would." Harry told him. 

"Harry..." Liam started to say. 

“It's so much harder then I'd imagined it, Liam.. Promo, touring, I don't know how solo artists do it. I don't know how they do it.” Harry told him. . 

Harry looked Liam straight in the eye, waiting for Liam to say something else. 

Instead, Liam pulled Harry in for a hug, a big hug, a big hug that Harry always loved coming from Liam. 

"You're never alone." Liam whispered, hugging him tighter. 

And at that moment, Harry didn't feel alone. Being in Liam's arms made him feel like a kid again. It made him feel like he was 16 years old and they just finished another performance on the X-Factor live show. It was always nerve wrecking, but their group hugs after every performance was a reminder that that no matter what they always had each other. It made him feel safe. Liam's arms were always safe. Harry's stomach began to have that funny feeling again, a feeling that grew stronger after each time Liam ran his hand up and down Harry's back. That feeling sky rocketed though, when Liam pressed his lips onto Harry's head. He didn't know why he felt this way, after all it wasn't the first time he and Liam cuddled. It wasn't the first time Liam would kiss his head. The feeling Harry felt though, sent him into a desire of never letting go of Liam. He cuddled closer into Liam, wrapping his arms rightly around him. 

"You're the best.." Harry told him. 

"No you're the best." Liam replied, ruffling Harry's hair. 

"No you are." Harry replied, chuckling a little. 

"I missed you. We had some great times back then, didn't we?" Liam said, thinking back on old times. 

"Yeah, too bad in a week I have to go back on tour." Harry sighed. 

Liam was silent for a minute, and then proceeded to speak. 

"You don't have to go alone." Liam told him. 

Harry looked up at Liam confused.

“What do you mean?" Harry asked. 

"I mean I could go with you!" Liam offered. 

"What?" Harry asked, he didn't know if he was hearing Liam properly. 

"I have nothing better to do with my time. Sophia is gone, my career is on hold. It'll be fun." Liam said. 

Harry looked up at Liam, smiling at the sincerity in his face. 

"Just like old times." Harry said, grinning. 

Liam smiled back at him, making the feeling he had worse, like it was telling him to take a chance on something. Harry stared at Liam for a few seconds longer, before leaning in slightly. To Harry's surprise, Liam leaned in a little also, making Harry lean in a little more. They both leaned in slowly until their lips were barely touching. Harry pressed his lips onto Liam’s, making the first move. They kissed a few times, each kiss making Harry more and more weak. He didn't know what changed in him that made him feel this way, but now that he felt it, it seemed like Liam’s warm touch was all he really needed to survive. 

"I needed that." Harry said as their lips broke apart. 

"I think I needed that too." Liam said, his lips brushing against Harry's. 

Harry laid his head on Liam's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Liam's torso. 

"You're a big soft teddy bear that I want to hug all day" Harry told him. 

Liam wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead, smiling at the way Harry looked, he looked like a little baby in his arms. 

And that's how they spent the rest of the night, just cuddled into each other's arms. 

*********  
"And I need a guest for my first show, so it would be awesome if you could be my first guest?" Niall asked Harry. 

They were having lunch at Nandos just the two of them a couple of days later. 

"I don't know Niall, you'll have to tell me when. But I'd love to be on it." Harry smiled at him. 

"Oh yeah I forgot, you have your tour." Niall frowned. 

"I'll make time, I promise." Harry reassured him. 

"You know I really miss hanging out just the two of us, even when it's the four of us, I miss it. I never thought I'd miss it that much." Niall confessed. 

"Why don't you come on tour with me?" Harry offered. 

"I can't, I have my show remember?" Niall told him.

Harry sighed. 

"Well at least I'll have Liam then." Harry said. 

"Liam? He's going?" Niall asked. 

"Yeah!" Harry's face lit up. 

"Ah so you're pretty excited then." Niall asked, smirking. 

Harry gave Niall a confused look, not knowing why he smirked.

"Why the smirk?" Harry asked. 

"I know you two kissed." Niall told him, grinning.

"What." Harry asked, nearly jumping out of his seat. 

"Harry, you don't have to hide it from me. I know." Niall said. 

"How?" Harry asked. 

"Louis told me." Niall said. 

"And who told Louis?" Harry asked. 

"Liam. He told him you guys kissed and cuddled and he didn't know what to make of it." Niall told him

"He said that?" Harry asked.

Niall nodded his head, before continuing to speak. 

"So what is going on between you two?" Niall asked. 

Harry shrugged. He didn't know what was going on with him and Liam, but he knew they should probably figure it out sooner rather then later. 

"I..I feel safe with him... Like nothing can go wrong. I.. I think I have feelings for him." Harry confessed. 

"Well you should talk to him about it then." Niall told him. 

"Should I?" Harry asked. 

"Yeah of course, why not?" Niall asked. 

"What if we both have feelings for each other?" Harry asked.

"So?" Niall said.

"Its Liam we're talking about." Harry told him. 

"And you're Harry, it's Harry's feelings we're talking about and I say you should talk to Liam about it." Niall told him.

Harry sighed. He knew Niall was right. 

A couple of days later, Liam left with Harry to go to his first stop on his world tour, LA. Liam tweeted about it on the night of his first show; 

@Real_Liam_Payne: joining my mate @Harry_Styles on his new tour! Its gonna be fun!

Harry read it and smiled, having Liam with him made everything seem so much better.

"I don't know who's more excited that I'm here, us or the fans." Liam laughed. 

They were backstage in Harry's dressing room, chilling before Harry had to go on. 

"Yeah, me either" Harry chuckled, as he sat down on the couch next to Liam and laid down to rest his head on Liam's lap. 

Liam gently ran his fingers through Harry's hair, making Harry smile. 

Harry remembered what he and Niall talked about a few days before, and thought talking about it now was better then talking about it later. 

"Liam.." Harry started off saying. 

"Yeah?" Liam asked.

"What are we?" Harry asked, sitting up to look at Liam.

"What do you mean?" Liam asked.

"I mean.. Here we are doing something a couple would do.. When I don't even know if we are a couple in the first place." Harry told him. 

"Well, what do you think?" Liam asked him. 

Harry thought for a moment. He didn't know what exactly he thought. He knew one thing though, he felt happier and safer with Liam around. He loved Liam. He really loved him. 

"I think I really like you." Harry confessed, putting his hand on Liam's hand. 

"What do you think?" he asked. 

Liam smiled, putting his hand on Harry's cheek, caressing it lightly. Liam leaned into Harry, colliding their lips together again and again. At first Harry didn't kiss back, confused as to what Liam was trying to say. Then it hit him, Liam felt the same way. He opened his mouth, letting Liam's tongue in him. He tried to savior the taste of Liam's lips, they felt warm and made Harry weak in the knees. He hoped Liam would just melt in their kiss and forget that they eventually would need to stop, just like he did. 

"Does that answer your question?" Liam asked, breaking their lips apart. 

Harry smiled at him, not afraid to hide his feelings anymore. 

"You know you probably have the cutest dimples." Liam told him, poking at his dimples. 

"You probably have the most amazing eyes. I can look into them all day." Harry replied, staring into Liam's eyes. 

"Your dimples look so kissable." Liam said, making a kissing sound at Harry. 

"Really?" he asked. 

"Of course." Liam smiled back at him, before leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. 

Harry cupped Liam's face and moved to meet Liam's lips with his.

"And you're lips are so kissable." Harry told him, meeting their lips again and again. 

"Oi oi!" A familiar voice in the background interrupted, 

"That's weird it sounded just like Louis." Harry said, confused. 

"I'm looking for a Harry Styles people." the voice said again. 

"It is Louis!" Harry said, standing up and walking towards the hall. 

Liam followed Harry out from his room and into the hall. Standing there were Louis and Niall, smiling when their eyes met Harry's. 

"There he is!" Louis shouted, pulling Harry into a hug. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Harry asked, hugging Louis back. 

"Well Liam here told us about how much you missed us, and believe it or not we miss you a ton too. So Louis and I are joining you for a couple of weeks!" Niall said, hugging him next. 

"What about your show? And your label? You guys don't have to I'll be fine." Harry started to say. He felt bad that his friends were going through so much trouble for him. 

"Show doesn't start until next month." Niall told him. 

"And I'm the boss of the label so I can do as I please." Louis said, chuckling a little. 

"And we all miss it just being us four." Liam said, putting his arm around Harry. 

"But won't people think something is up?" Harry asked. 

"We're just visiting our mate on the road, nothing weird about that." Louis reassured him. 

"I don't want people thinking I'm lonely or anything. I don't wanna come off as a diva." Harry told them. 

"Harry please, you're the least diva person I know." Niall told him. 

Harry smiled as Liam pulled all of them in for a group hug. Harry knew that eventually he would be on his own again. Even if something did happen between Liam and him, he would want Liam to go home and go back to producing. He knew he didn't have forever with the boys, but he had now, and that's all that mattered.


End file.
